Scavenging a KARR
by My-Friend-KITT
Summary: A first person fluff piece about you trying to win a Scavenger Hunt. Too bad KARR isn't as excited as you about winning that prize money. Will he let you gain access? Drive? Win?
1. Scavenging a KARR

There he was, parked before me and glistening in the hot midday sun. His perfectly polished glossy black finish promised mystery and shadowy darkness. The only hint of color anywhere to be found was a slowly trailing amber yellow accent light mounted flush just above his sharply pointed bumper. If you squinted just so, you could see a hint of golden red.

Yep, you must have found him first. The prize money was yours. With an extra kick in your step, you skipped over to see if it was locked. After all, the scavenger hunt is not over until the car is delivered unto the start point.

With absolutely no forethought, you grabbed the driver's side door handle. And that is how you received your first ever shock treatment.

"OW!" You screamed at the top of your lungs as you tried to stand back up on now super shaky legs. "That hurt!"

An evil belly laugh with a tinge of Mwahahaha seemed to come from no where. It was super creepy.

But that didn't faze you. "So this is why I had to buy a pair of electrical gloves?" You commented with an evil grin. "Now try and shock me, Bad Boy."

The amber accent light flickered oddly for just a second before it went back to trailing slowly back and forth.

Now you are all safe inside your giant black rubber gloves. But, you have a new unforeseen obstacle. They are GIANT rubber gloves. Your fat and safe fingers cannot slip under the flip up door handle to open it.

And as you try and fail to get a good grip on that slick and suddenly very tiny door handle, you hear that evil laugh again. And that just gets you more steadfastly determined.

"Ok Smarty Pants," you concede with a smile. "You win Round One. But let's see how you like this?"

With a flick of your hip, you pull out of your hip pouch a cheap pair of plastic yellow clip clamps. They are hard to squeeze even on a good day. And even harder with thick rubber gloves on. But somehow, you managed to power grip that menacing clip clamp. You successfully achieved a whopping two inches of clipping space. You literally grind your teeth as you wiggle that yellow clamp into place on the black door handle. God forbid that it fall off.

Proudly, you step back and inspect your work. And what an ugly job it was. This magnificent black sports collector's car was pristinely polishes to a perfect gloss. And now, it also has an ugly lopsided haphazardly clipped cheap yellow plastic clamp affixed to its driver's side door. You actually chuckled at the irony.

"Ok you Sexy Beast," you laugh as you diligently check the tightness of your rubber gloves. You tug on them downward hard. "As Ali Baba would say, open Says Me!"

You grab onto that ugly yellow clip clamp with two hands and yank upward with way to much force than was necessary. You actually grunted. Though you don't remember it.

But it's hard to remember anything after a hard landing on your butt for the SECOND time.

That creepy laugh gained volume and lasted a lot longer. But you couldn't help but laugh too. It was freaking hilarious. You actually wished that you had gotten a video of this for YouTube.

"This vessel is protected by an original tongue twisting password." A dark voice rumbled deeply from the black beauty. "Proceed with caution."

That stifled you laugh quick.

It talks?

"This vessel is protected by an original tongue twisting password." It repeated. "Please proceed with caution."

"Oh," you chuckled as you carefully stood back up. "Car Alarm, huh?"

Carefully, you peeled off your right glove and dig deep into your handy dandy hip pouch. Thank goodness for the tongue twisting challenge earlier. Though you still have sand stuck in places that sand shouldn't be. But beaches and digging will do that.

Loudly, you clear your throat...more than once...more than twice...

"This vessel is protec-"

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" You interrupt that now annoying voice. "Can't you see that I am working here?"

"Incorrect Password." The heavy voice replied. "Attempt One has failed. Please speak clearly. You have only two attempts left."

"Seriously?" You commented under your breath.

"Incorrect Password." The deep almost sexy car alarm announced with an air of aristocracy. "Attempt Number Two has failed. You have only one attempt left. PROCEED WITH CAUTION."

You burst laughing at the sheer insanity of this whole situation. Your butt hurts. There are yellow clip clamps at your feet. And now, you are arguing with a sophisticated car alarm that is literally the sexiest deep voice this side of James Earl Jones.

God! You hope that the prize money for this is as good as they promised.

While gasping for a breath, you pat your chest as you try to contain that exhausted laughter, "Ok. Ok."

"Incorrect Password." That haute voice announced with an almost evil grin. "You have failed to provide the correct original tongue twisting password. Second Level Protection System activated."

The very nanosecond the car alarm finished speaking, a simple children's campfire song began to play. It started out almost silent. But as the tune continued, the volume grew in intensity.

You belly laughed uncontrollably.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

As soon as you gathered your breath to sing, you began to join in. Why not? "Row! Row! Row!" You belt out without a care in the world.

Just as quickly as it began, it stopped mid-verse.

"HEY!"

"Secondary Protocol Protection System deactivated." The deep voice announced forcefully. "Reactivating Original Tongue Twisting Password Protocol."

"This vessel is protected by an original tongue twisting password. Proceed with caution." The black sports car reiterated smoothly.

Quickly, you clear your throat and hold up your now crumpled paper. "Miss Susie sat upon it and cut her big fat- ask me no more questions. And I'll tell you no more lies."

'Oh my god! That was Awesome!' You remember singing this as a kid. You could probably finish the limerick if you wanted.

"Limited Access Granted." The deep voice reluctantly, yeah you could hear that emotion, announced.

Click

That simple sound signified your achievement. You actually celebrated with a fist pump.

Triumphantly, you grabbed a loose hold of the flip up door handle only to have your slick fingers slide off. Still locked.

You sighed once again, defeated.

"Face Print analysis is required." The voice continued unfazed. "Please place you race against my windshield. Left side. Right side. Middle."

"You have got to be kidding me." You laugh as you try to figure out how in the world this will work. "Umm, Crazy Car Alarm? How do I do that?"

"Do you request further instruction?" The voice quarried with an almost chuckle in it.

"As a matter of fact," you agree just to make the car talk some more. "Yes, please?"

"Accessing." The deep voice rumbled softly. "Instructions: place left side of face on the left side of the windshield. Press down for a clear reading. Place right side of the face on the right side of the windshield. Press down for a clear reading. Crawl onto the hood of this vehicle. Place front of the face into the windshield. Press down for a clear reading."


	2. Head and Shoulders, Knees and Faceprints

Chapter 2 Scavenging a KARR-Head and Shoulders, Knees and Faceprints

"No way?! Really?!" You laugh so loud that people stop and look at you awkwardly. "No way am I climbing up on that," you point at the steeply angled hood. The brilliantly glossy polish is so slick that it is reflecting the sun in your eyes.

"Do you wish to give up?" The deep and sexy car alarm asked triumphantly. You could swear that it sounded like it was cheering your defeat.

That simple question seemed to solidify your waining determination. Reluctantly, you growl, "You may be smart. You may be beautiful. You may be powerful. And you may have the upper hand. But, I have tennis shoes on."

Face Prints? Really?

You just stand there dumbly wondering if you really want to face print a car. But then, someone in the crowd behind you hollers, "Come On! You can do it!"

Flabbergasted that you have an audience, you pivot on one foot to see who said that. You are shocked to see that you have an audience of over 10 people eagerly awaiting your every move.

You blush and shrink back a little.

The sexy car alarm seemed to recognize your sudden shyness and taunted, "Do you wish to forfeit?"

Laughing despite the situation, you taunt back, "You would like that? Wouldn't you, you Big Brat?"

You draw in a deep breath and tease, "I'm going to grease up your pretty little windshield like a fry pan for bacon."

But first, you remember at the very last second, you must secure your black rubber gloves. There's no way that you're gonna get zapped again. Your skin is still tingling from the last time.

Confidently, you hold both of your rubberized hands up like an impatient surgeon and belly laugh, "Shock me once, shame on you. Shock me twice, shame on me. Shock me three times, I think not."

"Ok, you big beautiful baby," you announce in the loudest coo that you could muster. "Come on and give daddy a big 'ol kiss."

Over dramatically, you plop down both hands on both sides the side view mirror. At the same time, you hum a long loving purr as you press the side of your face into the cold glass. Just as quickly, you yell, "Mwahhh!" when you step back.

Your ever-growing audience is laughing uproariously. You can't help but join them.

"First Stage Face Print Analysis is complete."

No one heard it.

Childlike, you begin skipping around the front end of the long sports car. You are waving and smacking the hood every two hops. It is so over the top, you can't help but laugh the whole time.

Once you got to the other side, you excitedly ask, "Are you ready for another big kiss you Big Lug?"

"Second Stage Face Print Analysis standing by." The deep irritated voice responded sharply.

While relishing in the undivided attention of both the fancy sports car and the rapt audience, you do as before and smack both of your gloved hands down on the protruding side view mirror while announcing, "Pucker Up!"

You press the other side of your face into the cold glass of the windshield. The whole 2 seconds, you are humming softly again like you are cradling a newborn baby.

You gently pet the side view mirror as you peel yourself off. In a whispering purr, you coo, "Such a good widdle beasty."

"Second Stage Face Print Analysis Complete." The deep car alarm voice practically seethed. Yeah, it sound livid. But how can a car alarm sound so angry?

But you don't take too long to think about it. You have Mount Everest to climb.

You back up contemplating all of the crazy angles this beautiful sports car rocked. You had no idea how on God's Green Earth you are going to climb up on this abstract-angled monstrosity. Maybe you can talk the car out of it.

"Hey Mr. Crazy alarm," you call as you tilt your head while considering your options. "Is there a different hoop that I can jump other than climbing all over you like a jungle gym?"

"Do you wish to forfeit?" The sexy car seemed to ask hopefully.

"Never!" You hoot as you find your start point.

"Climb!" The larger crowd starts chanting in unison. "Climb!" "Climb!"

"Standby Timer for the Face Print Analysis program is almost expired." The deep and sexy car alarm voice warned in monotone. "45 Seconds Remaining."

You instantly hopped on the slick hood on your butt. Almost as quickly, you laid down flat on your back. Who cares if you look like a wiggling seal on the beach.

It didn't last for long anyway. With a flip of your knobby knee, you roll over onto your belly. Yeah, you could have planned this better, you think to yourself.

"5," The deep voice began counting down.

Your khakis slip on the slick polish. Wildly, you scramble to catch a good hold.

"4."

You perilously slide down the slick sloping hood while desperately reaching for the top.

"Climb!" "Climb!" "Climb!" The increasing crowd chants louder while laughing and pointing at you.

You are now flailing so wildly that you accidentally kick your feet off of the hood. With your feet firmly on the asphalt, it looks like you're hugging this massive sexy machine right at the pretty yellow accent light.

"3," The ominous voice continues to count down with an ever increasing volume.

You actually whoop when you hear the voice call the number 3. With every ounce of your energy, you dig in harder with your sweat-covered gloves. And, you prop your right foot on the front bumper.

"2."

"Oh crap!" You yell as you literally thrust yourself full blast straight for the windshield. Not even taking a moment to breathe, you wildly kick and swim your way to the top of the hood's edge. Finally, you manage a tentative grip on the thin edge.

The whole crowd is laughing and cheering.

"1," The deep car alarm voice seemed to laugh.

Swear words are now free flowing from your mouth as you dig your toes in hard on the slick hood. And with one last thrust, you breathlessly make it to the top of the deeply sloped hood. You carelessly smash your nose into the pristinely clean windshield.

"Time has expired." The sexy car alarm voice announced at the very same time as your nose touched the cold glass. The not-so-subtle cheer in its voice clear as day.

"No way?!" You pant so hard that your breath is clouding the windshield.

"Stage Three of the Face Print Analysis Protocol has failed." The mystery sports car proudly announced.

"Activating Brain Wave Scan via the Memory Game Program."

"Excuse Me?" You pant while trying to find a comfortable position on the stiff hood. "A brain wave scan?"

"Failure to complete the Face Print Analysis requires a brain wave scan to be completed. This will allow you access to one locking mechanism." The smug car alarm pointed out emotionlessly.

Exhausted, you sigh. You've been at this for over an hour now. You're pretty shocked that none of the competition has arrived yet.

"Memory Game?" You recall offhand. "What kind of memory game?"


	3. Brain Scans and Memory Games

Scavenging A KARR- Chapter 3: Brain Scans and Memory Games

The gathering crowd is actually stone silent while eavesdropping on your situation. To them, you must have been one of the best street performers out there.

"I will perform a light show." The car rumbled. "You will identify the sequence."

"Well, that seems easy enough." You say to yourself as you slide off of the hood.

"Memory Brain Scan Program Activated." The baritone voice began. "Awaiting patient's go ahead."

You decide that this is going to be a lot more fun. You plop down on the ground about 2 feet back from the front of the black super car. You pull out a half-drunk bottle of water from your handy dandy hip pouch. Theatrically, you take a long sip. Holding your crumpled bottle up to your lips for what seems like forever.

The unforgiving hot sun is burning down on you, the hot car, and the silent audience. So, you play it up. You just hold that bottle to your lips letting time pass.

"Seriously?!" An impatient guy from the audience whines. "Come on already!"

Slowly, you re-cap your lukewarm water and return it to your fanny pack. "Ok," you agree as you zip it back up. "Can I write down the stuff you are about to do?"

"No." The grumpy car alarm guy huffs. "May I begin?"

You lean forward more focused. "Go ahead."

In a flash, the car alarm flashes one headlight. "Respond?"

"Headlight!" You yell too loud. This is fun.

"Incorrect." The sexy voice scoffs.

"What?" You whine as you jump to your feet. "You turned one headlight on, on the right."

"Identify the correct location."

"Driver's side headlight." The whiney guy from the audience yelled.

"Hey!" You yell at the intruder.

"Identity Unknown." The muscle car replied irritably. "Restate response."

"I don't mind the help," you forcefully address the audience. "But please, do tell me. Not him."

Everyone nodded.

"Driver's side headlight." You perfectly mimic the intruder.

"Correct." The deep voice agrees. "Ready for Sequence #2"

"Ready..." you agree after you square up your stance. You don't know if it will help. But it's gotta look good from behind.

The same headlight flashes and then the opposite turn signal.

The whole crowd behind you whispered, "Driver's side headlight and passenger side turn signal."

But not in unison. It was whispered static. It made no sense to you. So you tried to tune it out.

"Driver's side headlight and Passenger's side turn signal." You belt out clearly.

"Sequence Correct." The deep car alarm voice confirms emotionless. "The random pattern is going to get progressively more difficult. Ready for Sequence #3."

"Try me, Big Boy!" You taunt with a casual flick of your wrist.

Before you have a second to get ready, a wild pattern of lights flash. Your jaw drops for a second.

The thick crowd behind you instantly begins predicting the wild pattern while whispering, arguing, and even yelling. It is so raucous, you can't think. You start to doubt yourself.

"Ok!" "Ok!" You start yelling over the din. "My Turn!"

"Driver's side headlight, Passenger's side turn signal, Driver's side turn signal, and lastly the Driver's side head light." You carefully offer while crossing your fingers. Here's hoping.

"Sequence correct." The car confirms instantly. "Sequence #3 is complete. Please prepare for Sequence #4."

You are definitely sure that this next one is going to be really hard. "May I ask someone from the audience to help?" You ask hopefully. You know just who to call.

"No." Is your only simple curt reply.

You sigh. This time, you sit down for real and mentally log your previous test pattern in your head.

"Ready." You finally whisper after a couple more seconds of memorizing.

Without a sound, the lights all over the front of the beautiful black sports car began flashing one by one. At the end, it even flashed two different lights.

You are transfixed. You point at everything as it is happening and say it out loud. But you're not the only one. It almost sounds like a choir practice behind you.

All too soon it comes to an abrupt end with, "Identify Sequence."

Jokingly, you ask, "Can I see it again."

"Identify Sequence." The deep voice growls.

"Only because you asked so nicely." You chuckle.

"Driver's side headlight, Passenger's side turn signal, Passenger's side headlight, Driver's side spotlight-"

"Brain Scan complete." The deep car alarm voice suddenly interrupted you without a care. "Processing."

"Hey!" You exclaim in shock and a little tingle of grumpiness. "I worked really hard to remember your little game. Allow me the right to 'Identify the Sequence'."

"Brain Scan Protocol is Completed." The evil car alarm vibrated with a chuckle. But it didn't last long. In a more serious tone, it rumbled, "You have been allowed tentative access to a single portal."

Once again, you hear that sweet sound of success. A clear, mechanical click. But you won't be fooled this time.

"Which door did you open?" You ask with a skeptical tilt of your eyebrow.


	4. Ample Trunk Space

Scavenging A KARR - Chapter 4: Ample Trunk Space

"A _door _was not opened." The snide car alarm jabbed. "A hatch was released."

"Excuse me?" You giggle confused. "A hatch?"

Jokingly, you inspect the top of the beautiful black sports car for a submarine style flip up hatch. Playfully, you pat the smooth surface and laugh. "I don't see no hatch."

"Your tentative access," the computer continues while fully ignoring you. "Is contingent on how well you complete the next protocol."

"Excuse Me?!" You yell while waving you hand like a student in a crowded classroom. "I have a question?"

"Please state your question." The irritated car alarm finally recognized you.

"What...Hatch?" You articulate slowly.

"The back end hatch has been released." The high tech car alarm reluctantly pointed out. "Any other questions before we continue?"

"I have a million questions." You gleefully bounce. "What are-"

"The questions may only pertain to the protocols at hand." The deep voice cut in before you could finish. Like Always.

You sigh but only for a second. Bouncing, you skip over to the back of the dark beauty. "Can you standby while I inspect my newly approved access?"

But before you even touch the trunk lid...

"HEY!" "Hey!" "Found It!" A young guy in his 20's hollered excitedly.

You whip around pissed and scared.

"I was here first!" you yell defensively.

"And you will be here last." The young guy scoffed at you as he reached for the door handle.

BbbbbzzzzzzzTTTTttttttt

You and the whole crowd laugh your collective butts off as you watch the cocky brat get zapped and land on his tiny hiney. It's so much funnier watching someone else get shocked.

While the snotty guy was still trying to shake the ringing out of his ears, you carefully sneak the rest of the way to the back of the hot muscle car. Your time for games has ended. The competition is arriving.

Carefully, and still with your rubber gloves on, you try to open the glossy and slick trunk. But, the trunk handle is thin and your gloves are fat and bulky. Your first two tries are futile. You can't get theses big fat gloves to fit the flush flip-up latch. 'Where are those yellow clip clamps again?' You think to yourself.

"You have been granted access." The sexy car alarm points out emotionlessly. "There is no electrical charge for you."

Now if that ain't a win, you don't know what winning is. You excitedly peel off you hot and sweaty gloves by the rubber fingertips. Carefully, you put them in your handy dandy fanny pack. Quickly, you wipe the hot sweat off of your hands onto your khakis. No way are you going to try to open the fancy trunk lid with slippery fingers.

Cautiously, you lightly pat the trunk lid handle with just the slightest light fingertip touch. No zap. With still a little over abundance of caution, you try again a little harder. As promised, you receive no shock.

Emboldened, you whip open the large trunk lid as fast as you can. The competition is arriving in groups now. You have no time left.

Inside the spacious trunk space, you find about 10 duffel bags. All of them are identical. Quickly, you pull the middle one closer to you. Embroidered on the side is a bright yellow Knight chess piece helmet accompanied by the words Knight Automated Roving Robot K.A.R.R. You don't think too much of it. The Knight Foundation is holding this event. Attached to the front of the bag next to the yellow helmet is a two-way radio and a C-shaped cuff earpiece. A note stuck to the radio reads, "Please use earpiece for all further communication."

After fumbling a few times, you manage to settle the C-shaped ear cuff precariously on your right earlobe. It's hard. It pinches. And it's already fallen off twice.

"Testing," you try in a soft whisper.

"Hey Look!" One of the guys yells from behind you. "The trunk is OPEN!"

Without even looking back, you slam it shut.

With you inside it.

Good thing this baby is a Luxury car. Though now you are curled up in the fetal position and hugging luggage.

You hear a muffled, "Hey!" coming from the outside. You can't help but evil laugh. Though now, it getting pretty hot in here.

Oddly enough, the fancy schmancy car starts itself right up and turns on the air conditioning. In your ear, you hear, "Occupant Detection System has been alerted. Temperature Control Protocols have been activated. Air Conditioning systems are activated."

You sigh relieved as you feel a gentle cool breeze waft over you. You could almost take a nap in here. You reach out and scoop up one of the duffels and snuggle it sweetly with a light contented sigh. You feel nice and safe in here.

"I have detected a presence within my trunk space." The car alarm rumbled irritably in your ear.

"Well," you mumble half asleep. "Where was I supposed to go?"

"Are you asking me a question?" The car asked sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact," you chuckle into your duffel pillow. "I will ask you. What should I do now? I'm locked in the ample trunk space of a fancy but oddly childlike sports car."

"Option One:" the helpful car alarm began with an authoritative tone. "You could attempt to crawl through the backseat pass through space. Option Two: You ask for an egress point. Option Three: You wait for another participant to gain hatch access."

You snicker when you hear Option Three. No way did you work this hard to lose. "Can you tell more more about Option One?"

"There is a pass through space for easy access from the backseat to the trunk space. It was designed to help prevent entrapment within the cargo space. As well as, it also provides easy access to the cargo compartment without having to exit the vehicle." The car alarm described in a bored monotone. "Do you wish to access the pass through?"

Thoroughly excited about getting a chance at the real interior of this big beautiful sports car, you exclaim a little too loud, "Yeah!"

Bbbbzzzzzttttttttt

You hear what sounds like a bug zapper doing its job. It made you jump and bump your head on the trunk lid. ""Hey," you complain while wiping the sore spot on your head. "What was that?"

"Someone," the deep voice seemed to laugh evilly in your ear. "Has tried to gain unauthorized access. They will recover momentarily."

At the same time, you can hear the whole crowd outside laughing. It is so loud, you can hear it through the trunk lid.

"Oh," you snicker as well. "They have to learn the hard way, huh?"

You stretch out a little bit more and ask carefully, "So, where is this pass through?"

"That portal requires an access authorization. Do you wish to access the pass through portal?"

"Duh!" You scoff as you shove all of the duffels as far back as possible.

"Response Unknown." The deep car alarm voice pushes unneeded. "Please restate your response."

"You know what I said, you big brat." You laugh as you start pushing hard on the back of the bench seat. "Where is that pass through?"


	5. Trapped Like A Dog

Scavenging A KARR - Chapter 5: Trapped Like A Dog

"Pass Through Access Portal Protocol Activated." Your ear buzzed with every word spoken. "To gain access to the Main Cabin, you need to have a strong comprehension of following simple directions. I will give you a task to preform. You must follow it without reservation. If you fail three times in a row, you will be ejected and disqualified."

"Woah." You gasp. "Disqualified? That seems a bit harsh."

"You wish to gain access to the Main Cabin?" The deep car alarm voice asked a little darker than you had ever heard.

"Yeah...?" You squeak.

"Then you must show a propensity to abide by the rules." He pointed out forcefully. Then, in a softer, gentler tone, he offered, "Unless you wish to be released?"

"No." You jab while still trying to find that portal with your bare hands in the dark. "Is it gonna be like a game of Simon Says?"

"The instructions are simple." The car alarm reiterated. "Do as I say. If you do, the pass through portal will lower for you. Are you ready?"

You take a deep breath and blow out slowly. "Yeah."

"Kick the trunk hatch firmly while alternating with both feet." The deep voice began. "Strike it no less than five times per foot."

The plethora of duffels are all in the way. So you carelessly push them to the side. You then wiggle your shoulders against the back of the bench seat for leverage. As soon as you find the best position, you start kicking hard.

"Very good." The deep car alarm voice affirmed. "First Stage Complete."

You stop kicking to catch your breath and hear the next direction. You are already tired. But this is fun.

"Repeat your previous task while simultaneously hitting the trunk hatch with both fists. Do not be soft. Hit the trunk hatch with force." The deep voice excitedly added.

While grinning from ear to ear, you go wild on the closed trunk lid above you. You start kicking and punching it with all of your might.

Bbbbzzzzztttttttt

You hear a loud gale of laughter roar from outside.

"Second Stage Complete." The deep voice practically laughs in your ear. "Three more stages to complete."

You pause once again to catch your breath for a couple of seconds. This is lots of fun. And you can almost predict what the crazy car is going to ask you to do next.

"You are to continue your kicking and punching." The car alarm tries to sound calm. "And while proceeding, you will call out the word 'Hey!' loudly and no less than three times."

Bbbbzzzzzzztttttttttt

You bust up laughing. This is like the greatest prank that you had ever done. Oh, this will be great.

For better support, you shove one of the duffels under your head and neck. And then after you wiggle it into perfect position, you ask, "Ready?"

"Proceed."

In a full on two-year-old reminiscent temper tantrum, you began kicking and yelling. And to accentuate the meaning, after every "HEY!", you punch harder with your fists and then kick afterward.

BBBbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzTTTtttttttt

You are now laughing uncontrollably.

"Third Stage Complete." The deep car alarm voice barely contains its own laughter.

Bbbbbbzzzzzzttttttt

"Don't Touch The Car!" You hear very muffled.

But you are laughing so hard, you can barely hear it anyway.

And even though the warning was given...

Bbbbzzzzzzzzzttttttt

Bbbbzzzzzzzzzzzttttttt

Yes, this is as evil as you can get. But you are loving every second of it. You are panting for breath and wiping the tears of laughter from your face. You don't care and you are not alone. The sheer decibel level of the crowd laughing is almost drowning you out from inside the car.

"STOP TOUCHING THE CAR!" You hear yelled quite clearly this time. So, you snort back you laugh as best as you can.

"Stage Four Activated." Your ear tickles with the car's voice. "Your instructions are to repeat all of the previous Stages and include at the end a loud and pitiful moan. It must be loud enough to here on the outside of the vehicle."

Oh yeah, you can do that. "Ready?"

"Proceed." The voice pushes a little to excited again.

"There is someone stuck in the trunk." You hear yelled from someone nearby. "The car has some sort of electrical field! Don't touch it!"

You take that as your cue. You yell, "Hey!" And then start kicking and punching. "Hey!" "Hey!" And then you punch harder while still kicking. You don't let up your tantrum for a few seconds. Until finally, you taper down your assault on the trunk lid to just a long and low, sad and mournful moan.

"They need help!" You hear immediately...just before-

Bbbbzzzzzzztttttttt

You can't contain it again. You bust up laughing even harder than last time. You don't know who is having more fun. You or this crazy car.

"It's not funny." An angry voice barks at you. "People are getting hurt out here."

Typically, you are a very caring and compassionate person. But this is just too hilarious.

"Stage Four Completed." The earpiece announces in an almost whisper. It actually sounds like it doesn't want to give you your last instruction. "Final Stage Activated."

You take a deep breath and rest for a second. Now you can clearly hear, "Should we call the cops? Maybe the Fire Department?"

"You are to give your best performance yet." The deep voice instructs softly in your ear. "You are to cry. Cry for help. Moan. Make it loud. Make it intelligible through the sound proofing of this vehicle. If one, just one, person from the outside dials 911 on their phone, you will have completed all Five Stages. Understood?"

You nod your head and agree a little reluctantly, "Cry and get the cops involved. Got it. Ready?"

"Proceed." The deep voice approves calmly.

You take in a deep breath and are just about to let out your loudest cry ever when guess who pulls up with sirens blazing?

"Fail One." The deep and sexy voice announces proudly. "Two more failures and you will be ejected from the cargo compartment.

"That isn't a fail!" You argue back shocked. "The cops arrived. I did it!"

"You did not cry for help. Their arrival was not in direct response of a 911 call caused by your cry." The car argued back in monotone. It was creepy how calm it was.

"I get two more fails." You reluctantly let the details of the previous failure go. "What is next?"

"Final Stage Attempt Number Two Activated." The sexy car alarm voice begins a lot sweeter. "Your instruction is: Convince the Peace Officer that you are a trapped dog. If you can get the official to question whether you are a human or a dog, you will have completed the Final Stage."

You actually laugh out loud. Okay. A dog. You can do this. Calmly, you wait for the officer to show.

And you wait...

And you wait...

And you wait...

It is taking forever for the police officer to show. It's been so long now, you're starting to grab that duffel bag and making a pillow out of it again. You actually yawn and hug it.

"Hey in there?" You finally hear as you are falling asleep. "We will get you out in a jiffy, ok?"

It's showtime! You begin thumping on the side quarter panel rhythmically like a dog's tail.

Beat...Beat...Beat...

"Can you tell me if you are okay?" The cop calls in to you.

You hit the side wall a little faster.

Beat..Beat..Beat..

"Can you tell me your name?" He tries again with a squeak in his voice.

You hit the wall even faster now. And then, for an added effect, whimper as loud as you can.

Beat.Beat.Beat

Whimper. Whimper.

Beat.Beat.Beat

"Is that a dog I hear?" The officer asks more than a little upset.


	6. Wiggling Out a Name

A/N: Sorry so silent all. Hopefully, this posts better.

Scavenging A KARR- Chapter 6: Wiggling Out a Name

"Ahhhh!" You celebrate at the top of your lungs.

"Oh My God!" The distressed officer exclaimed at the top of his lungs. "How did that dog get in there?!"

"Pass Through Access Authorized." You hear the deep voice reluctantly announce. "Please standby for the lowering of the Pass Through door."

You carefully wiggle your way back away from the seat. Crawling around in this cramped up trunk space was getting to be hot and sweaty work. Freedom would be a Godsend. Or at least a breath of fresh air.

With a loud hiss of a pressure release, you get your first bright sliver of sunlight except for what was dully bleeding through the thin edges of the trunk lid. At least now, you know the approximate size of the doorway that you are going to have to crawl through. It wasn't very big. In fact, you were going to have to wiggle and jiggle everything inside of you to get through that Hobbit door.

"Please stay clear of the moving door." Your ear vibrated gently.

With all of the power of a small and delicate drone engine, your little rabbit hole falls open before you. It is loud and the hole isn't getting much larger than the side of your foot sideways. You exhale a breath that your didn't know that you were holding and determine, 'I will make this work.' As you prepare for the squeeze of a lifetime.

"Something is happening!" A curious voice yells through the trunk.

'Captain Obvious.' You chuckle to yourself.

A little too excited, you watch the center of the backseat lower away from you. Now you catch your first blessed glimpses of the dark interior ."

"Limited Access is contingent on many variables." The deep voice tickled your ear. "You will still be assigned tasks to further prove your qualification. I reiterate, if at any time you fail a single task, if not otherwise advised, and I cannot stress this enough, you will be instantly removed. Are we still in agreement?"

At the end of the query your escape hatch suddenly halted about halfway down. You could very well tell that this was one of those moments of life or death. You knew that if you so much as lipped the word 'No.' your role in this Scavenger Hunt was over.

"Before I agree," you begin cunningly. "I need to be sure of my own safety. Can you also promise me that I won't be physically or mentally harmed?"

Silence

Your simple request was met with a long and dead silence. Even the people outside made not a peep.

"Agreed." Was whispered reluctantly in your ear. "Only under the express condition of your agreement to my limited conditions and access."

"Of course I agree!" you jump at the moment. You were now one HUGE step closer to winning this.

Without another word, the loudly whining door began to slowly descend again. And this time, the lovely and luxurious interior was well lit. The rich smell of fresh leather and earthy wood caressed your excited senses. This was better than any new car smell that you have ever had the pleasure of smelling before today. You gently closed your eyes and inhaled deep and slow. Heaven.

"What you observe before you," the deep caressing voice continued with a hint of abject pride. "Is all Top Secret. Even the hues of the leather is a secret. Do Not Share."

"I won't." You wholly agree.

"Something is happening!" You hear yelled through the closed trunk lid again. "I can hear it."

"Well duh," you laugh to yourself.

Bam!

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"AHHHH!" You scream in shock and panic.

BAM!

Something was thundering down onto your sealed trunk lid. It had to be HUGE.

"STOP!' You scream at the top of your lungs as you cover your ears. "STOP IT!"

Without warning, the powerful beast of a car roared dangerously to life. Its heavy muffler shaking with every howling rev.

Instantly, the wild pounding stopped. Tension was hanging thick in the air.

Cautiously but quickly, you threw your luck to the wind. You wiggled as fast as you could on your hands and knees through the Pass Through Escape Hatch. Your big head fit through great. But your wide shoulders took a bit more contortions. Your ample hips though, said 'No.'

Like a dog trying to get a bone too big through a doorway, you desperately try to force your hips through the narrow Pass Through by sheer will and force alone. Its only after your pride and your sides are all bruised up that you try different angles. And sure enough, a roll to the left and a kick of your feet was all that was needed. You popped through like a baby being born.

"Do Not Strike This Vehicle!" A seething voice menacingly warned over the car alarm PA system. Everyone from here to Albuquerque could literally feel the rage emanating from the deeply rumbling car.

You gulp knowingly as you pull your feet through the hole and settle rigidly into the leather bucket seat. Cautiously, you offer in just a whisper, "They think that I need to be rescued."

You could swear on a stack of holy scriptures that you heard this technologically advanced car alarm Harrumph. But that can't be possible. Can It?

Before you have a chance to question what you think, the powerful beast of car surges forward so fast that you are viciously thrown back into your soft leather seat. You are literally pinned there for a second.

"OH MY GOD!"

Just a quickly, your hell ride comes to a jolting stop. The loudly revving engine is silenced by the undeniably loud sound of squealing brakes. It was only seconds. But, you feel like you have lived a lifetime.

'OH MY GOD!" You yell too loud.

The deeply rumbling engine is still growling angrily below you as you decide that putting on your seatbelt is a very very good idea.

"What in the Holy Living Universe was that for?" You exclaim breathlessly as you fumble with the latch desperately.

"Accident Avoidance System." Your ear barely heard over the deafening rev of the powerful engine.

"But," you point out proudly. " You didn't do that before."

"The Accident Avoidance System was not active at the time." The obviously upset car alarm tried to explain flatly. 'It is now active and prepared to respond to any relevant stimuli."

"So," you ask curiously. "What's with the revving? Does it need to be prepped?"

"A Warning." It simply stated with a new depth in the rumble.

"So," you continue with a giggle. "I guess I should name you Rattler, like the snake, huh?"

"If you must know," the car alarm added with another warning rev of his powerful engine. "I already have a designation."

"Really?" You inquire with a bounce and an excited squeak. "Please? Tell me!"

"I am the Knight Automated Roving Robot." It pointed out proudly. "You may call me KARR."


	7. Erroneous Humans and Agreements

Scavenging a KARR- Chapter 7: Erroneous Humans and Agreements

"Really?" You chuckle behind your hand. "Your name is Car? Mine's better."

VROOOOOOM!

The black super car revved roughly. "I said," the voice reiterated with a deep growl that seemed to come from your earpiece and the car itself. "I am the Knight Automated Roving Robot. And I have now decided that that is the only designation you may refer to me as."

Scared but not enough to lose your curious nature, you poke, "How do you get to make those decisions? You are a car alarm? Wait? How are we even having a conversation?"

An exasperated sigh huffed gently through your earpiece. It sounded annoyed to say the least. "I am an Artificial Intelligence."

You gulped. You sat back a little further from the fancy leather driver's seat and asked, "You mean to tell me that you're an A.I.? Like, Terminator A.I? Are you here to kill me?"

A deep growling laugh vibrated the whole car. "Only if you make me mad."

You sat there in dead silence.

"Seriously?" You finally asked after a lifetime.

Another sigh caressed your ear softly. But this time it was just that gentle.

"I am an Artificial Intelligence, yes." The KARR proudly touted in its most aristocratic tone. "I differ from the rest of the production line knock off subpar Intelligences out there in that I am the original. You are conversing with a legend."

You let out a breath that you didn't know that you were holding and chuckle, "If you are the original, how come I have never heard of you?"

"Because you are a child and a nobody." The KARR responded curtly. The evil grin was implied.

It took you a second to realize that this freaking crazy talking car just sent you the best burn you had had in a while. Are you really going to argue with a talking car?

A low maniacal laugh began deep and rumbling from somewhere deep within the now very scary car. It was so rich that it literally vibrates the very being of the car. It culminates into a carefree if not creepy belly laugh.

"Are you afraid?" Your ear tingles with the depth of the voice. But it doesn't sound scary. More curious than anything.

The predatory laugh did get to you. You are frozen in fear and confused. Yes! You are afraid. But. Yes, you are still crazy curious at the same time. A real honest to God A.I. When are you ever going to have another once in a lifetime opportunity like this? What would you ask it first?

"Can you turn up the air? Its hot back here." You try hopefully. 'Let's start small.' You think.

"Its been so long since I have had a delicate human within my cabin." The deep and now distant voice reminisced. "I forgot that you require a more moderate temperature setting. At what degree would you prefer the setting to be?"

Super conscious of your every move now, you shrug carefully. "72, I guess." You try to sound calm. Though you know that your voice cracked like twice.

"Do I make you uncomfortable now?" The KARR asks very seriously. "I will release you to the outside if you desire."

"NO!" You yelp a little too loud. "I was overwhelmed by your charming personality. I've never met anyone like you before."

You let the sentence hang when the KARR doesn't respond.

"May I stay?" You try hopefully.

"Your presence is tentative." The deep car alarm, no wait, A.I. Voice chided. "And contingent on your adherence to the previous rules set before you. Until your evaluation process is complete, your continued comfortability is a new requirement set into my programming."

"I can follow rules." You sarcastically snip. "And the rules say, 'Drive the car across the finish line'. So, how do I get into your driver's seat?"

"If your goal is merely to 'Win the Game'," the menacing voice pointed out darkly as the door next to you popped open. "You may exit now."

"I don't get it." You question worriedly as you inch away from the unwanted exit. "That's the game. We are supposed to drive you over the finish line. What am I missing?"

Red colored lights began to flash on the super futuristic touchscreen dash. The gentle almost nonexistent idle turned rough and loud. Though nothing was said.

"HEY!" You hear a stranger yell from the outside. "The Door Is Open! EVERYONE! OVER HERE!"

You instantly reach for the wide open door. But your tightly fitted seatbelt jerks you back, "Close the door!" You choke out a yell as you fumble with the dang awful seatbelt. "They are coming!"

Suddenly, you feel an odd release. The seatbelt springs free and glides smoothly back up your shoulder. You are no longer restrained. With all of the adrenaline of your newfound freedom, you leap at the door and yank with all of your might.

It doesn't budge.

"Close The Door! CLOSE THE DOOR!" You scream at the top of your lungs as you tug helplessly and watch the riling mob sprinting full blast at you like storm clouds on the horizon. "PLEASE?"

"You wish to use me as a tool to get what you desire?" The deep voice angrily pointed out just barely audible over the oncoming screams. "I am not a tool or object to help you gain your measly objectives. You are dismissed."

While still fruitlessly yanking with both hands, you yell, "Can we talk about this?! Please close the door!"

What is there to discuss? You have made your intentions clear." The low voice got lower. "You are free to leave. Please do so."

"I don't wanna leave!" You yell back. "What can I do so that I can stay?"

With the door still solidly standing open to the outside world, the KARR offered, "Please repeat after me."

"Seriously?!" You yell in a full blown panic.

The deep KARR voice actually chuckled, "I can wait."

After another brief but wild attack on the unmovable door, you yelp as you furiously kick away your first combatant. "Okay! Okay!"

The unmovable and once brick wall of a door suddenly whirled into you and slammed shut. It almost took your foot with it. But it was a blessedly solid close and lock.

The sprinting mob all pelted against the now very closed door like a swarm of pissed off Killer Bees. They even sounded like bees with all of the buzzing and zapping of the outer shell's protective system. Though, their angry drool covered faces looked more like rabid pit bulls than dainty little bees.

"Much better." The deep voice sighed relieved. "Now I can hear you."

"Please don't ever do that again." You sigh even louder than the car. The loud buzzing of people still trying the sealed door almost making you yell. You can only imagine the smell outside, sweat and burnt flesh. "I thought that they were going to kill me."

"They were." Was the simple reply.

You settle uncomfortably into your soft leather bucket seat. You are just catching your breath when the KARR finally adds, "I request no less than the same. Do not refer to me as a means to an end. Ask for help. State a request. Make a plea. Do not order me about. I serve No One."

"Ok," you nod. "I get that But we need to talk somehow. I've never worked with an A.I. Before now. You have to cut me some slack here. You have to help me too. Ok?"

"We have an agreement," The KARR' voice reluctantly conceded. "You will not use me as a tool. And, I will briefly consider that you are a faulty human that can be in error."

"But," you chuckle smartly. "I am an original."

The KARR snorted, "Once again erroneous. There are trillions of faulty and erroneous humans on this globe."

You laugh companionably. How can you argue with the logic of an all knowing smart ass car who likes to pick fights? You can't. But, you are starting to get the hang of how he works. You hope.

"So, ummm KARR," you try again carefully. "Can I drive now?"


End file.
